at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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