sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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