So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
