i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
