a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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