If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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