Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
