hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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