Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
