Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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