Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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