if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I didn't shave. On purpose
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
