Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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