your thong is hanging out like whoa
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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