There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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