He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
