Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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