Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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