i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
