The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
