Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
