is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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