I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
