The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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