My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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