Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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