thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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