That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I want a musical about memes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
