a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
