I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You did what with his pubic hair?
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