i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Michael Bay diarrhea
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
