I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
