ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
