capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
