Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
