the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize