there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
