he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
