i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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