Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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