i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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