My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
