I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
