i need an iv and a liver transplant
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
