i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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