dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I currently don't understand fingers.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
