unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize