Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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