So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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