Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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