Your face is a jimmy john
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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