Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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