The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
