I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
