I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
