Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
