its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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