if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
