wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You need Xanax blowdarts
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
