We're facebook friends in real life
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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