my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
