You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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