I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize