If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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