She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
