Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize