I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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